Recognizing Teens at Risk - Risk Factors
There is no suicidal type, but the presence of the following factors make it more likely that a teen will have suicidal feelings:
previous suicide attempt
low self-esteem
helplessness or hopelessness
in trouble
abused or neglected
perfectionistic
gay/lesbian
a traumatic event
recent loss
abuse of alcohol and other drugs
disabled
loner - socially isolated
recent suicide of family member or friend
Warning Signs
Although a single traumatic event like the breakup of a relationship or being cut from the team can trigger an unexpected suicide, teens almost always send out signals, such as:
talking or joking about suicide
increased and/or heavy use of alcohol and other drugs
making preparations for death such as giving away prized possessions
reckless risk taking
exhibiting sudden changes in school or social behaviour and attitudes such as
abrupt changes in attendance
sudden decline in academic performance
inability to concentrate
sudden failure to complete assignments
lack of interest/withdrawal
changed relationship with classmates
increased irritability or aggressiveness
wide mood swings, unexpected displays of emotion
despairing attitude
preoccupation with death and suicide (eg. writing about it, drawing pictures of people committing suicide or dead)
a party animal becomes withdrawn or vice versa
disturbed sleep, loss of appetite
loss of interest in previously important relationships
appearance and personal care change suddenly
How To Help
Listen
The single most common complaint by teens about adults is that they don't listen. Interested questions may be needed to help them open up, but as adults we're too prone to giving advice, making judgments and solving problems for them. What they really need and want are people who will just listen.
When you initiate a conversation with a teen by asking them what's wrong, you'll often be met with a shrug and a muttered, Nothing. Do not give up at this point. Teens often need to be convinced that someone really cares before they'll open up and talk about their feelings.
When they do, don't offer solutions or tell them how much better they have it than someone else, just listen. This delivers two critical messages:
1) I take your problems seriously.
2) I care enough about you to want to help.
Listen for the feelings behind the words and be alert for phrases like:
I'd rather die than....
or I can't take it anymore
or Everyone would be better off if I weren't here.
Evaluate Risk
The best way to find out whether a person is contemplating suicide is simply to ask him or her directly. Are you thinking of killing yourself? This does not put ideas into their head, but it does free them to talk about what is really going on and to reach out for help.
If the answer is yes.....
Ask them:
What method have you thought of using to kill yourself?
When do you think you'll do this?
Do you have the means (guns, pills etc)?
The more lethal the means, the more available the means and the more definite the time frame, the greater the risk.
RISK = Lethality + Availability + Time Frame
Get Help
Do not ever agree to keep someone's suicidal intentions a secret. Find out who or what they fear and attempt to agree on who can be trusted with this information, but do not wait to notify the appropriate individuals. Better to anger someone by revealing their secret, than to see them dead because you didn't tell someone who could help them.
If, based on your evaluation of the risk (lethal means + availability of means + time frame) the person is in imminent danger of attempting suicide, do not leave them alone. Stay with them until help arrives.
Who Can Help
the Crisis Line in your community
emergency wards of hospitals
your family doctor
Kids Helpline 1-800-668-6868 (in Canada)
a mental health office
police or ambulance
Facts About Suicide
People who talk about suicide do it. About 80% of the time, people who kill themselves have given out definite signals or talked about it to someone.
People who are suicidal don't want to die. Most suicidal people are ambivalent about dying, they just want to stop the pain.
Talking about suicide will not encourage someone to try it. It is more likely that giving someone the opportunity to talk openly about their feelings will in itself reduce the risk of suicide.
Anyone is the type. People of all kinds, cultures, ages, economic and education levels end their own lives. Don't ever dismiss your premonitions about someone because they're not the type.
The motives for suicide are deep and longstanding. While a recent trauma or event may precipitate a sudden suicide, the problems and subsequent feelings that led to it would have had a long history. For example, a student may appear to have attempted suicide because his girlfriend broke up with him, but the low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness that made the break-up so devastating would have deep roots.
from family connections